Would You Spit on Me

if I were on fire? I heard this expression from my mother, who was telling me some story that she heard from one of her sisters. When my mother asked her about the unkindness of some woman they know, my aunt’s response was, “No way she’d help. She’s so hateful she wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire.” They went on to discuss the sheer selfishness of this woman, her unwillingness to be kind when it cost her nothing, and her inability to be more than angry and jealous about any good thing that might happen to someone else. Sadly, I know this person. Well, not this exact one, but several of her ilk. I suspect that her life is so devoid of things to make her happy that she hasn’t enough experience with that feeling to be able to enjoy even a vicarious experience of it by being glad for someone else.
I was a bit shocked, thinking how harsh it was that someone might care so little for you that they wouldn’t cross the street to help you, or, even worse, would have too much contempt to spit on a person even if you were on fire. The expression conveys a diffidence which may be worse than contempt, don’t you think?

Recently, I came across quite the opposite the phrase “pay it forward” and an example of what this means. Basically, it’s just doing a kindness for someone for no reason without expecting something in return. I think it is a part of what some religions call karma and what cultural anthropologists term, “generalized reciprocity”. My brother laughs at me because before I learned these terms, I called it “cosmic quid pro quo”. Whatever it is called, I really like the idea of being nice for no reason. I like to give little presents to people and to do nice things for them, especially when I get to see them happy about it. And I like to think about them paying it forward by doing something unexpectedly nice for someone else. Today, I am going to do a little paying it forward and say something nice, do something helpful, give something away. We'll see if that improves my mood.